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gotta love being back home! It's been a long road to say the least. on the way home i counted the number of pages i had to write this semester and it was almost exactly double what i had assigned last semester! needless to say the last couple weeks were crazy and updating xanga somehow faded into the distance.
among the highlights was a trip to Edinburgh with Courtney. i had plenty of work to do, but court managed to persuade me to take a risk and i'm certainly glad i did. edinburgh is gorgeous and even though we only had two days, we definitely made the most of them. we hit up the scottish portrait gallery, the modern art museum, and the castle, among other things. in addition, we managed to do some work at night. in some ways we took a train to edinburgh in order to get some new scenary for studying. as court put it, 'Might as well be going somewhere cool while you're doing homework!'.
A selection of pictures from Edinburgh:
Court and I riding the ferris wheel in the previous picture!
As for the last couple of weeks in Oxford: It was full of ups and downs and plenty of papers. Probably 50 or 60 pages of papers that had to get written. Somehow it all got done and the quality wasn't too bad. my last paper (a 16 pager) was written in a night, my first academic all-nighter since freshman year, and it turned out really well. for those of you who know me well, it says a lot that the fact that i had to spit out a 16 page research paper in a night didn't cripple me with anxiety. instead i just holed up in a room with two or three good friends and we all made our way through it together... with laughing breaks, kebab van runs, and mcdonalds breakfast in the morning!
Well, let's see, I'll certainly miss all that is oxford. it was great experience, especially academically. socially i learned a ton about life and the diversity of people, perspectives, and opinions. i'll definitely miss the constant stimuli of being surrounded by brilliant people with whom to dialogue about anything. but all that to say that i'm so glad to be home. it was time. the sun needed to work again and i needed the stablity of home and all that comes with that (friends, family, a car, and time to reflect on everything that was oxford). i've changed a lot and that has become very evident just in the last couple of days. i'm excited about sorting all this out over the next few weeks and also to see how it will end up shaping my time back in Wheaton. Life is full of these fun transtions... thank the Lord for those consistent friends and variables that help us remember who we really are.
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These are my friends (from front to back): Sharece, Rebekah, Ashlee, Hanna, and Naomi. We were at Courtney's hockey game:
Courtney standing waiting to get back onto the ice versus the University of Munich.
Well these pictures display some of that lighter sides of life, but, alas, they are somehow oddly disconnected from the entry that follows (Again, be warned - slightly personal thoughts ahead):
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks an awful lot like an In'n'Out Burger, that's about all that I can say at the moment. This season of life has grown ever more complicated and difficult to fully express to even those people who live with me here in Oxford. Therefore it should be of little surprise that the task of sharing things with those on the other side of the pond has also grown tenuous.
Tutorials continue to move on, day by day and week by week. Looking forward to the Wheaton assignments that wait for me, which will require relatively less work. On the other hand, though, I feel much more prepared to tackle that work and also to look ahead to graduate work on the horizon. So for that I am most thankful.
The one thing I've definitely been wanting to share is just a little story about how I'm finding ways to express the myriad of emotions I've felt here in Oxford: obviously Xanga has failed to provide that forum for me :). There are a few of you out there who will especially appreciate this story. Last Sunday I woke up from a nap and had this definite feeling that I had all this creative/emotional energy that needed to be expressed. Let's just say that for as much as I've enjoyed philosophical theology, it doesn't provide the right-brained oriented outlet which I've needed.
So after waking up from this nap I got bundled up and started roaming the streets for raw materials, with which I could make some sort of artistic expression. For those of you who don't know, through several friends and classes at Wheaton I've discovered an artistic side of me that provides a welcomed balanced outlook on life. I came back with all sorts of 'trash' (to some people), along with newspapers and magazines. I flipped my mattress up onto the wall and put all the stuff on the boxspring underneath. Soon my room had been transformed into a makeshift art studio that most people have found bewildering. Other people have nodded with joy, and others have been nice enough to compliment the creativity being expressed.
The end goal of all this is still unknown, but it will be some sort of art piece that puts in concrete form the emotions of life this term. As many of you know, art typically can't be planned out in a rigorous manner - to do so would probably choke off any creativity that may have been previously flowing. I think the project will be my ongoing side task for the rest of the term and that is something for which I am quite thankful. I share this because it's the best way think of summarizing my current state of being: just trying to wade through life and finding whatever wacky (or refined) avenues through which to make sense of it all. When I come up with any answers I'll let you know, but for the most part I can only offer updates on how the journey is going.
My room for those of you interested:
My bed/worktable (I move the mattress, currently verticle to the floor when I sleep) along with a nice feeling for the rest of the relatively small room. You may note the magazine clippings on the wall and the weekly flowers in the mirror (roses and lilies this week, for those of you don't know I buy flowers almost every week as a way of making sure I'm connected to real life... and because they just make my room smell good and they make me happy).
Door, umbrella, and bike from side of the road... why not?
Me studying in my room... books anyone? | | |
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Just in case any of you are worried that I'm not expressing any wackiness here in Oxford... let me introduce you to my friend Sharece. She brings out my wacky side unlike anyone else here. Here's how she described this picture on her xanga site: 'Here's a delightful picture of me and Daryl. This little brother of mine likes to pick on me to his heart's content. It's kinda funny to watch I am sure. Half the time, he tries to steal blankets and pillows from me while I am tired and stuff (no good). But most of the time he just likes to threaten that he "will take me down"... I'm still not quite sure what he means by this. I've actually let him win at Speed the last few times we've played, there's no use letting him fall asleep all mad at me for smashing him at a game of cards...'
Come on, would I do any of that stuff? | | |
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Some fun pictures that illustrate the lighter side of life in Oxford.
Played in my first soccer game here on Thursday. Wow don't even know where to start. Funny how four years can make a HUGE difference in one's life. People have asked if we won (we didn't), but for the most part winning was fourth or fifth on my priority list:
Did I have fun (yes)
Did I get some exercise (yes)
Did have good memories have actually being good and in shape (yes)
Did we win (no)
Seems like a pretty successful day to me! Anyways, I played a half because I'm just a visiting student who will only be here for half of the season. Then they put me in on defense and I just laughed because I am, let's just say, not accustomed to being on defense in soccer. I'm a forward by trade and I don't think that really changes in the course of a person's life. I had some good plays and some that I would rather just forget, but all in all it was a nice change of scenary from the library (never thought sports would take up that role in my life!).
Realized the other day that I'm looking forward to going home. When I think of seeing the sign at Heathrow that says 'Los Angeles' there will be deep and abiding joy in my soul. That's not to say that I'm not enjoying my time here, just to say that I am forever an Angeleno at heart. People here are gathering this fact about me (I'm still wearing shorts and sandals occasionally). It gets to be a hassle when it rains, but that trouble is worth feeling like I am somehow a truer expression of myself.
On a deeper level (turn your eyes if you do not want to hear serious reflections about life), I've settled into a healthy blend of joy and melancholy as of late. The melancholy is mostly caused by a growing awareness of the brokenness of the world that manifests itself in so much human pain, emotional and physical. I am, of course, a part of that brokenness also. That's about as much as I can say at the moment. On the other hand, though, I honestly don't remember the last time that I've had such a sustained feeling of joy that manifests itself in genuine laugther and smiles quite often. Courtney commented that I'm a lot more fun this semester and I think to a large extent she's probably right. I think the dual intensity of melancholy and joy is probably related, perhaps for now life itself entails the presence of both. I am certainly inclined to think this is the case for all of us.
Hope you don't mind this short aside into my deeper thoughts on life. And for those of you who have been reading (and/or leaving notes in the guestbook): thanks a lot. It is a great encouragement to say the least. | | |
| I was thinking the other day that my life must seem pretty monotonous to some of my friends back home: all that research and writing and all. Well, to some degree there is truth in that conclusion. In fact, there have been moments when I too have thought that my life had somehow exited out of the world of being interesting (to anyone who is not a theology major of course!) without anyone notifying me of the transition.
But yesterday I was thinking that this is so far from the truth. As I walked from one Sunday service to the next (from NT Wright - VERY prominent Pauline scholar and, on the side, also the bishop of Durham - preaching to Oliver O'Donovan - see previous description - preaching at Christ Church) that my life is unbelievably full and interesting at the moment. Perhaps it has never been so much so actually. With every lecture, paper, ice cream run, walk on cobblestone streets, hilarious communal meal, book, fascinating conversation, funny interaction with a Brit, or surprising new friendship, I change a little bit more and new memories are forged that will stay with me for quite awhile. There are simply too many thoughts and insights about life, theology, and friendship for me to adequately share any of them. And, for the moment, they are all meshing together into one whirlwind experience that resists proper expression. As with many life-changing moments or seasons, comprehension and articulation only comes in reminiscing.
One highlight from the week was getting to visit Coventry Cathedral, a cathedral which was bombed out by the Nazi's in 1940 around which an international center for reconciliation has since developed. This center does unbelievable reconciliation and mediation work in many places around the world, not the least of which includes Iraq, Israel, and Nigeria. My roommate Steven interned with up there this past summer and so I was quite eager to visit the cathedral. As these pictures show, they left the ruins and built the new cathedral right next to them. They like to say that walking from the ruins into the cathedral is analogous to walking from Good Friday to Easter Sunday. The focal point of the ruins is a cross of nails that was erected from the wreckage behind which was written, 'Father Forgive'. Steven will probably laugh at such a concise description of Coventry... but I do what I can.
The new Cathedral. The Christ tapestry is quite beautiful.
This is my favorite picture that I took. It is the chapel of suffering in the new cathedral. You look through a crown of thorns onto a mosaic that depicts Christ's suffering in the Gethsemane. It is specifically meant for prayer and intercession for those who suffering daily around the world.
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